The Joker is my Guru

A guru (Sanskrit: गुरु) (Gurmukhi: ਗੁਰੂ) is one who is regarded as having great knowledge, wisdom and authority in a certain area.

Now, let's not get The Joker mixed up with "Juggalos". I abhor ICP and anything of the sort. But The Joker truly is a masterpiece. He is deliciously psychotic, demented, evil, and hilarious. My sister dubbed him my guru years before I'd even seen the movie (I watched it tonight, and, as we all know, the movie came out in 2008 and, well, this is 2011.)
But I just watched it, and found the character amazing, inspiring (in the least-murderous way possible, mind you), thought-provoking, and, yes, possibly even wise.
I found some of my favorites quotes, or "lines", that he spoke, and have decided to post them here:

I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger.

Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just... do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon's got plans. You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are.

Batman: Let her go.
Joker: Very poor choice of words. Ahahaha! *throws chick out window*

Can't be too careful with all those weirdos around.

I'm a man of my word.

When you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought, heading for the places in your past where the screaming is unbearable, remember there's always madness. Madness is the emergency exit.

As you know, madness is like gravity...all it needs is a little push!

You can't rely on anybody these days, you gotta do everything yourself, don't we? But that's okay, I came prepared. It's a funny world we live in speaking of which, you know how I got these scars?

Oh, you. You just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You are truly incorruptible, aren't you? Huh? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won't kill you because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.

Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little emotions. In... you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards? 

Wanna know how I got these scars?

I want... my phone call. I want it. I want it! I want my phone call! 

You have nothing, nothing to threaten me with. Nothing to do with all your strength.

Don't talk like one of them. You're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve. 

You have all these rules and you think they'll save you.

Even to a guy like me, that's cold... 

You and your kind, all you care about is money. This city deserves a better class of criminal. And I'm gonna give it to them!

[Batman slams The Joker's head on a table]
The Joker: Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy.
[Batman slams a fist down on Joker's hand]
The Joker: [pretends not to feel it] See? 


Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair! 

All right. So, listen. Why don't you give me a call when you want to start taking things a little more seriously? Here's my card.
[He holds up a Joker card and places it on the table]

 Joker Quotes from Batman (1989)

I've been dead once already. It's very liberating. You should think of it as, uh... therapy.

Vicki Vale: What do you want?
The Joker: My face on the one dollar bill.
Vicki Vale: You must be joking.
The Joker: Do I look like I'm joking? 

My balloons. Those are my balloons. He stole my balloons! Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those... things? Bob, gun.

I now do what other people only dream. I make art until someone dies. See? I am the world's first fully functioning homicidal artist. 

Sometimes I just kill myself!

Vicki Vale: You're insane!
Joker: I thought I was a Pisces. 

Batman (asking about the Joker): Where is he?!
Dude: I don't know, he found us.
Batman: He must have friends.
Dude: Friends? Have you met this guy?

 

In some parts, The Joker actually reminded me of the mad scientist from Back To The Future.

The Joker was played by Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight (2008). Heath Ledger died of an accidental drug overdose (a combination of oxycodone, hydrocodone, alprazolam, diazepam, temazepam, and doxylamine all of which seem to be for anxiety, pain, severe insomnia, and cold symptoms)...ironically before The Dark Knight even came out (He died in January 2008, The Dark Knight came out that summer.)

Go here to see his life story.

Weirdly enough, a lot of celebrities die from drug overdoses. Such as Marilyn Monroe, Judy Garland (Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz), Paul Gray (bass guitarist from Slipknot), James Owen Sullivan (musician of Avenged Sevenfold), and many more.